if you took a look at this journal just because the title is "boobs", well, i would probably have done the same thing.

ANYWAYS... this journal is not about boobs. it is me trying to explain why i have been away for quite some time, and why i have been so on and off with dA since i first got here oh, about 3 years ago. it's also a general update on... life. and projects.

first off, i do apologize. i feel like i apologize in everyone of my journals, because i know i have friends here, and whether or not they are reading this journal, well that's up to them. they very well may have given up on me months and months ago, which is... their choice. i've given up on myself for the most part, so i really don't blame you. so i apologized for being a bad deviant and not fulfilling my duty of giving you lots of nature photography and being a yellow alien. fail on my part.

second off, there are a few reasons why i've been so distant over the last few months. i just finished up my freshman year at college (a college i detest btw). this last semester was literally a shit show. the shittiest show i could possibly imagine. i've taken witness to many of my close relationships disintegrating right before my very eyes. i've also been witness to my own character and personality changing and twisting under the stress of being around people who are not people i would normally choose to hang out with. to make a very long story short, i have changed. alot. i became someone who i am not proud of over the past year, and i'm working to get back to where i want to be. i want to be dedicated to something and i want to be successful at it. that something is photography, and currently, i'm headed towards to the subject of photo journalism and concert photography.

that being said, like most photographers, i'm not always happy with my work. correction: i'm almost never happy with my work. I could have always done SOMETHING better. so when i come onto my site and see shitty pictures of myself and some half assed concert photography, i get a little discouraged. not to mention the hundreds of disregarded deviations and countless unread journals. it just gets frustrating when you know you're not doing your best.

AND WHEN DID IT BECOME BENEFICIAL TO HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION? wtf, mine just ran out not too long ago. figures, it's just recently that you can do cool stuff if you have one.

anyways, that's the end of my rant. i can promise any of yous who made it to the end of this pathetic journal entry that i will try to dedicate myself to my art, and improving upon it. and also staying involved in the community.

NOWWW it's time for a few plugs. and yes, some of them are for me.

[link] <- my twitter
[link] <- my concert photography on myspace.
[link] <- a sweet chat where i met some of the coolest people on dA.

and these are a few of the people i really like. not to mention they are bangin' photographers.


i'm out. i hope you all have a wonderful day.

<3 steph.